Berkshire Shire Hall R.F.C.

Opposition: Tadley II
Competition: League
Venue: Home
Meet: 1.30
Dress Code: No 1s

1. Neil Evans
2. Roger Griffiths
3. Plastic (C)
4. Andy Carson
5. Ben Davies
6. Adam Bishop
7. Rhys Williams
8. Dave Poulter
9. Sam Watkins
10. Andy Dodson
11. Delroy Wheeler

12. Tim O’Sullivan
13. Sam Fothergill
14. John Morris
15. Scott Thompson

16. Brian Cooper
17. Harry Gyamfi
18. Jerry Godfrey

RESULT:

Shire Hall 14  Tadley II  29

Scorers: Ben Davies – 1 try, Scott Thompson – 3 penalty goals

Man Of The Match: Roger Griffiths

Aldermaston V’s Shire Hall Match Report (or how I learned to stop worrying and accept that I should have done the Dr Stranglelove pun for the Aldermaston match)

Today’s match was destined to be a day of records, I thought I had got to the ground first only to find Il Captain already at the ground, fully changed and ready. A quick scan of the record books showed that this was a first time Plastic was at the ground and kitted up before anyone else, though apparently there is mention of it in Revelations.

Eventually the rest of the team arrived, and the game got under way. Shire Hall’s first try came from some good build up work from Shire Hall, in particular from Delory out on the right wing keeping the move going. From the resulting ruck out on the right wing, Shire Hall worked the ball back across field allowing Fothergill to scorch in from a 10cm out. Scott Thompson made the conversion, who’s apparently is doing his bit for the planet and reducing his carbon footprint. By using the minimal amount of energy to make the conversion as the ball sailed over bar with less than an inch to spare.

Shire Hall’s second try came from a similar position and again the ball was worked wide to Fothergill, though this time he had far more work to do, as he struck from 30cm. Scott made sure of the conversion. That was followed by a well taken drop goal from Scott, from straight in front of the posts. A rare event for Shire Hall that sent us scurrying to the records books to find out the last drop goal by a Shire Hall player. Turns out it was by Jerry Godfrey, on 17th January 1847.

Fothergill got his third try, for which he had to work a bit harder as he sprinted in from 30m. Aldermaston responded with a try of their own. My details on this period are a little sketchy as I was busy refilling the water bottles and missed most of the build ups. As well as lamenting the loss of my beard.

This meant that Shire went into half time with a good lead. The second half started with Aldermaston scoring a try before Shire Hall scored their fourth try, from an interception by Bass who just about to made it, to dot the ball under the posts. Anyone else would have just celebrated, Bass just complained, which set us back to the record books to find the last time Bass wasn’t complaining on a rugby field, turns out it was that fateful match in 1847.

The final score was Aldermaston 15 – Shire Hall 31.

Official Man of the Match:

• Adam Bishop

Unofficial Man Of The Match:

• Delroy Wheeler

Who said of his award “Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days’ concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.* ”

Opposition: Aldermaston
Competition: League
Venue: Away
Meet Time: 1.00pm (2.00 @ Aldermaston)
Dress Code: No 1s

1. Neil Evans
2. Roger Griffiths
3. Plastic (C)
4. Andy Carson
5. Stuart Ribbons
6. Adam Bishop
7. Rhys Williams
8. Dave Poulter
9. Sam Watkins
10. Scott Thompson
11. Delroy Wheeler
12. Paul Bassinder
13. Sam Fothergill
14. Sean Mathe
15. Mark Pye

16. Stuart Clarke
17. Daniel Williams
21. Jerry Godfrey

RESULT: Aldermaston 15 Shire Hall 31
Scorers: Sam Fothergill – 3 tries, Paul Bassinder – 1 try, Scott Thompson – 4 conversions, 1 drop goal

East Dorset V’s Shire Hall Match report (or how I learned to stop worrying and survive the Bus of Fear)

The warm autumn sun beat down as the Shire Hall players relaxed waiting for the mini bus to arrive enjoying the glorious autumn day, oblivious to the peril that was waiting them. The innocuous mini bus sidled in the car park; the Shire Hall players boarded the bus in blissful ignorance. Though to be honest given that Plastic was driving we really should of know what to expect.

Though in our wildest nightmares would probably never of envisioned the bus ride of death. Personally I stepped onto the bus a committed atheist, in the style of Richard Dawkins, and exited the bus having converted to all major religions, several minor religions, and even made up a few as well. I swear I saw Walker writing out a last will and testament on his blackberry.

As for the game, a scratch Shire Hall team battled hard, but the well drilled East Dorset team ended up running away with it in the end. There was some good tackling by Frisbee Dave and Bishop the Younger and excellent debut by Delroy playing out of position on the wing. Carson showed his clear lack of medical understanding; tickling is not a medical diagnostic tool!

For the return journey it was felt a stiff drink was needed before we could face the return journey, so a quick detour to a supermarket was made. After stocking up on gin and port we began the journey only to be cut short as Bishop the Younger got caught short in Tesco’s car park, and had to leg it quickly before he had an accident, which was the quickest I’ve ever seen him move.

By some miracle we arrived back safely, which I think shows the benefit of praying to as many deities as possible.

Final Score (by the way): East Dorset 39 Shire Hall 3

Man of the Match
Dave Poulter

Who said of his award “His explanation did not sit comfortably with me. He said a minute plus had been added because of our celebration. We scored on 90 minutes, the board was already up for four minutes, so Mr Wiley said he was going to add that minute on”*

Doc
*Due to the affects of alcohol, my memory is a bit fuzzy so some/all of the words attributed to Frisbee might actually be borrowed from MOTD interview with Mark Hughes

Opposition: East Dorset
Competition: South West Junior Vase
Venue: Away
Meet: 11.15
Dress Code: No 1s

1. Neil Evans
2. Roger Griffiths
3. Plastic (C)
4. Andy Carson
5. Stuart Clarke
6. Matt Bishop
7. Greg Darby (Berkshire)
8. Dave Poulter
9. Sam Watkins
10. Jerry Godfrey (Berkshire)
11. Delroy Wheeler
12. Chris Walker
13. Adam Bishop
14. Sam Fothergill
15. Will Spring

RESULT: East Dorset 39 Shire Hall 3
Scorer: Adam Bishop – 1 penalty goal